What Does a ‘Good Parent’ Prioritise Every Day? (Hint: It’s not perfection.)

Myth: Good parents always know what to do and never need help.

In the chaos of modern parenting, work pressures, school demands, and endless notifications, it’s easy to feel like you’re never quite doing enough. But here’s a gentle reminder: your teen doesn’t need a perfect parent. They just need a present one.

Instead of chasing perfect parenting, try shifting focus to what really matters:

• PRESENCE over perfection
• LISTENING over lecturing
• CONNECTION over correction
• GROWTH over grades

A Simple Daily Check-In

If you’re not sure where to start, ask yourself this: How much deep attention do I give to building a positive connection with my teen each day?

These quick, low-effort ideas can have a big impact over time:

• 10 minutes of undivided attention every day
• One genuine compliment about their character
• Ask: “What was the best part of your day? Why?”
• Share something new you learned recently

These simple, ‘daily’ consistent moments help build trust, respect, and openness that teens respond to.

You Don’t Have to Do It Alone

The Path Wānaka Parent Whānau Group Coaching Programme is designed for parents who want practical tools, not just theory, and a safe, confidential space to explore challenges, feel heard, and learn strategies that actually work.

• Whether you’re navigating:
• Communication breakdowns
• Behavioural challenges
• Big emotions (theirs or yours)
• Feeling unsupported or overwhelmed or just stuck …
• … you’re not alone. And you’re not failing.

Term 4 Group Parent Whānau Group Coaching Details

We’re back for Term 4 starting on Thursday 6^th November with a mix of in-person and online sessions, designed to work with your busy schedules.

Join other local parents creating positive change in their families through confidential small group parent coaching.

What you’ll get from the group:

• Real tools that work for real teens
• Support from other local parents facing similar struggles
• Strategies to rebuild connection and trust
• Confidence in your parenting and decision-making

Or if a group isn’t your thing, private 1:1 sessions (45-60 minutes) with Ali are also available.

One Last Thing – You’ve got this.

But you don’t have to do it on your own.

Every parent in our coaching programme has started exactly where you are now – unsure, tired, and trying their best.

Choose to invest in the most important relationship of all. Your teen needs you to be the parent who:

• Shows up
• Stays curious
• Keeps growing

Want to learn more?

Learn more here or contact us hello@pathwanaka.org.nz with any further queries.

Truth: ‘Good parents ask for help when they need it’.

(Real parenting isn’t about perfection — it’s about showing up, learning as you go, and modelling that it’s OK to seek support.
That’s not weakness — that’s wisdom).

Author Ali McCormick is a highly Skilled and engaging teacher; she makes complex concepts easy to grasp and apply, instilling confidence in all learners. Her style is clear, positive and inclusive. Ali’s powerful coaching skills  ensure everyone walks away with an actionable, personalised plan.

Got a great idea for an event? Let us know!

We’re here to help bring the right people and experts to our community in support of our youth and their families.  If you have an idea for a great topic or speaker, contact us at Path Wānaka | Ara ki Wānaka.  We’ve got you!

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Key Principles:

Safety and enjoyment are paramount.

Alcohol concerns? Consider an alcohol-free event to keep things simple and safe. For people under 18, the safest option is not drinking at all and delaying drinking for as long as possible.

Legalities: If alcohol is involved, remember it’s a serious offence to supply to anyone under 18 unless specific conditions are met (parental consent, responsible supply).

Planning & Organisation:

Team effort: Work closely with parents, guardians, and students. A collaborative approach ensures a well-organised event.

Police Partnership: Inform local police early and be open to their visitation for everyone’s peace of mind.

Security Measures: Have appropriate adults acting as security on entry and exit throughout the duration of the event.

Entertainment: Hiring a DJ can create a relaxed and enjoyable atmosphere, fostering opportunities for interaction and engagement among peers.

Consideration: Be considerate of neighbours, noise and parking may impact them so giving them a heads up beforehand goes a long way.

Venue Selection:

Keep it Secret: Reveal the venue last minute to maintain exclusivity and control.

Facility Check: Ensure ample kitchen and toilet facilities, exits and space.

Invitations & Attendance:

Exclusive Entry: Recommended that only ball attendees or invitees can join. Secure entry with wrist bands or stamps. No door sales – pre-sold tickets only.

Gate: Limited time to enter e.g. 30 minutes only.

Watchful Eyes: Parents and guardians present to monitor and assist.

Alcohol Policy:

Delivery & Distribution: Parents deliver alcohol prior to the event. Distribute responsibly via a controlled, adult-supervised bar.

Underage Drinking: If allowed (parental consent, responsible supply), ensure a responsible approach: supervised consumption, no glass, food availability, and safe transport.

Transport:

Safe Rides: Arrange transportation to and from the event, ensuring no one drives under the influence.

At the Event:

Food & Hydration: Abundant food, water and non-alcoholic drinks. Consider BBQ, sandwiches, and savouries. Circulate all evening.

First Aid: Have a kit and a designated adult for minor emergencies.

Sober Monitor: Encourage groups to designate a sober friend for the night.

Quiet Zone: Offer a safe and quiet space for those needing a break.

In Case of Trouble:

Immediate Action: Parents called for any issues with intoxication, illegal drugs/contraband, or disruptive behaviour.

Communication: Have operational mobile phones on hand for emergencies.

Community Support: Contact details for local police and health services should be readily available.

Venue Address: Know the address of the event venue in case you need to call emergency services. Some rural locations do not have specific street addresses.

REMEMBER:

Every celebration is a milestone. Let’s make it memorable for all the right reasons – fun, safe, and inclusive for everyone.

For more information:

https://www.actionpoint.org.nz/parents_supplying_get_prepared

https://healthify.nz/hauora-wellbeing/a/alcohol/

https://nosafelimit.co.nz/

https://info.health.nz/services-support/online-phone-healthcare/healthline

Author Jamie Seymour Health Promotion Advisor | Te Whatu Ora – Kaiwhakatairanga Hauora with National Public Health Service – Southern.

Got a great idea for an event? Let us know!

We’re here to help bring the right people and experts to our community in support of our youth and their families.  If you have an idea for a great topic or speaker, contact us at Path Wānaka | Ara ki Wānaka.  We’ve got you!

Stay in the loop!

Get the latest blog posts, updates and news from Path Wānaka straight to your inbox. Sign up to our newsletter here.

Teenage emotions can feel intense and unpredictable. That’s because the teenage brain is wired to feel higher highs and lower lows. They’re not being dramatic – their emotional volume really is turned up. And when you add hormones, social stress, and sleep deprivation? It’s a lot.

But emotions don’t need to control us. They come… and they go.

It can help to think of emotions like clouds passing through the sky. Some are dark and heavy. Some hang around longer than others. But none of them last forever.

Here are three practical tools to help shift your teen’s emotional state (or your own):

1. Shift with time
   Ask: How will I feel about this in 5 hours, 5 days, or 5 weeks?
   This “5 in 5” technique helps zoom out to give us perspective, and reminds us: this feeling won’t last forever.
2. Shift with your senses
   Do what works for you – listen to music, move to a different room, take a walk, hang out with your pet, or look up at the sky. Small sensory shifts help redirect attention and loosen the grip of a difficult emotion.
3. Name it to tame it
   Putting feelings into words dials down the intensity of the emotion. Try: “I’m noticing I feel frustrated” instead of “I’m frustrated”. This subtle shift helps create distance and reminds us: we are not our emotions – they’re just passing visitors.

Try asking your teen, “What are you feeling?” Then gently encourage them to get specific – beyond “sad”, “mad” or “bad”. The more specific we are, the easier it is to figure out what we need.

For more, check out the free How We Feel app – it’s full of great tools to help name and manage emotions.

Kim Tay is the founder of The Wellbeing Works and runs science-based workshops that build mental skills for wellbeing and high performance – at home, at school, and at work. 

Got a great idea for an event? Let us know!

We’re here to help bring the right people and experts to our community in support of our youth and their families.  If you have an idea for a great topic or speaker, contact us at Path Wānaka | Ara ki Wānaka.  We’ve got you!

Stay in the loop!

Get the latest blog posts, updates and news from Path Wānaka straight to your inbox. Sign up to our newsletter here.

Author: Kim Tay, Director – The Wellbeing Works

It’s not just teenage angst – it’s a survival instinct built into all of us. Our brains are wired to focus more on what’s wrong than what’s right. This “negativity bias” helped our ancestors stay alert to danger – like spotting a lion in the long grass – but these days, it’s more like a super-sensitive smoke alarm going off every time you burn the toast. Helpful in the wild. Less helpful when you’re 15 and your beach volleyball partner ditches you a week before the tournament.

That’s what happened to my daughter. It was upsetting, and totally understandable. But after letting the emotions land, we worked through a simple technique to help her feel more in control again: the CAN technique.

C = Control
Ask: What parts of this can I control?   She couldn’t change her volleyball partner’s decision – but she could decide how to handle it. That included how she responded, how she managed her emotions, and what she did next.

A = Accept
Acknowledge the facts, then let it go. “This sucks. It’s not fair.”  Let yourself/your teen feel it – then breathe. Don’t get stuck dwelling on what you/they can’t control.

N = Now Act
Ask: What’s one small thing you can do now?  For my daughter, it was making a list of other players she could talk to about partnering up for the next season.

This is known as mental flexibility.  Choosing to change the way you’re thinking, so you can feel better and handle things more easily. While we can’t protect our kids from disappointment, we can teach them how to move through it with more confidence and less overwhelm.

Try it yourself. Try it with your teen. You might be surprised how empowering it feels to go from ‘stuck’ to ‘stepping forward’.

For more, check out this MBIE video (04:15):  Overcoming the Negativity Bias with Mental Flexibility

Kim Tay is the founder of The Wellbeing Works and runs science-based workshops that build mental skills for wellbeing and high performance – at home, at school, and at work. 

Got a great idea for an event? Let us know!

We’re here to help bring the right people and experts to our community in support of our youth and their families.  If you have an idea for a great topic or speaker, contact us at Path Wānaka | Ara ki Wānaka.  We’ve got you!

Stay in the loop!

Get the latest blog posts, updates and news from Path Wānaka straight to your inbox. Sign up to our newsletter here.

Path Wānaka Ara Ki Wānaka in collaboration with Community Links, Te Kura o Tititea Mount Aspiring College, QLDC, and Kahu Youth Trust is proud to host this hard-hitting, eye-opening and often hilarious In-person “Parent Cyber Safety Evening” presented by Filmmaker, Author and Speaker Rob Cope.

Who Should Attend

‘Bring A Friend’ Tickets on sale here