How do we show our sons what healthy masculinity looks like, and start the conversation at home?
There is a lot of noise around boys right now. Some of it is all volume and no wisdom. Dr Justin Coulson’s latest work cuts through that. His new book, Boys: Building Strong Young Men from the Inside Out, argues that boys thrive not through force, fixing, or fear, but through connection, meaningful challenge, and adults who stay with them when life gets messy.
One of the strongest ideas in Coulson’s work is this: a healthy male helps the people around him feel and be safer and stronger. It is a definition of strength with purpose. Calm and courage rather than chaos and cruelty. A young man who uses his presence to steady the room, not control it. That is the kind of masculinity worth talking about at home.
That feels like a better starting point for parents. It means confidence without contempt. Less “look at me,” more “I’ve got this”, and “I’ve got you.” This is the kind of manhood many parents want for their sons, even if the online culture keeps selling them a cheaper version. Coulson’s work keeps bringing parents back to character, connection, and responsibility.
So how do we show boys what that looks like?
We model it. Boys notice how adults handle stress, power, apology, frustration, and respect. They are taking it in – how we speak about women, how we treat people when we are under pressure, and whether our actions match our values.
We stay connected. Even when boys seem distant, dismissive, or buried in screens, relationship still matters. The side-by-side chats, the car rides, the quiet check-ins, the ordinary work done together, that is where trust is built.
And we give them real responsibility. Not fake jobs for praise, but meaningful contribution. Responsibility builds capability. Capability builds confidence. That is how strength grows from the inside out.
For parents wanting to keep the conversation going, Coulson also co-hosts The Happy Families Podcast with his wife Kylie, a practical, easy next listen for busy mums and dads trying to raise good humans in a noisy world.